bad days blown out of proportion is depression

Sometimes, other people's bad days make my good days bad days. And when sulk for caring about their bad days it makes their days worse days. So I try to keep positive, and pull them out of their bad days, but the only escape from a bad day is to believe it really isn't that bad... you got in a car accident... that's bad, but you weren't hurt, and you aren't gonna go broke. You lost at a video game... that's not even that bad... especially when you are playing someone who is at a whole other level than you are at that video game. That's like trying to fight a level 45 pokemon with a level 5... it won't end well for you, but at least you gained some experience. But it's nothing to frown over, just walk away and try again later.

poker night

Sometimes, it is terribly hard to know that my boyfriend has so many friends. He has people to hang out with every night. This would be great if I had any, I mean I have friends but I feel like I've built really lacking relationships with the people I was friends with in high school, because I see them and talk to them so infrequently. And, college friendships were a bit of a failure also, but that's a LONG story. I just feel really alone on poker night.

Israel

Today I went to Philadelphia's Israeli independence day celebration. Twas wonderful. I am a new fan of Rami Kleinstein, who gave a free concert. I talked to a wonderful, friendly girl who works for Hillel. I had a good day, but no falafel... which is a shame.

update

So my summer is one week into full swing, and I am exhausted and overworked. I find myself hoping for summer to go by quickly. I've worked all but three days since the monday after I got home, and I wish I just actually got to have a weekend for once. Not that my work is all that difficult, but I still find myself pooped at the end of the day. Hense, all I have to write about is being pooped. I hope for a good nap.

why am I the strong one?

depression is a bitch. The worst possible kind of bitch (besides borderline personality disorder of course.) with out the proper back story you are probably very confused as to what the hell I'm talking about. Frankly, more things in my life have been ruined by someone else's depression than anything else (except borderline personality disorder of course.) I wish for once the depression would realize that it is being ridiculous about all of this and let some things slide. Yes, your mother nags you-- she wouldn't be a proper Jewish mother if she didn't, but it doesn't mean that you breakdown because of it. The proper response would be to get a little annoyed at your mother, not take it out on the whole world, and especially not take it out on me. :\ I don't know what to do for you, I never do. I want to hug you, but I know you don't want to be touched-- so I just sit there and pretend watching you like this doesn't tear me up inside, because I know seeing me cry never makes things better for you.

alone :(

I hate it when you wake up at 5 AM to find your bed cold and empty... especially when there was someone there when you fell asleep. :\