poopatrators

There are three kinds of people in this world: people who give a shit, people who don't give a shit, and people who are too crazy to understand what the shit is and where they are supposed to put it. I'm not sure why, but I always end up around the last group of people... and it always feels like I'm their choice of potty.

FFUUUUUCCCCKKKK... WHY DOES IT ALWAYS MEAN "NOTHING" TO THEM? YOU ARE A CHEATING LYING BASTARD......

goodnight?

he's hiding something. not sure what it is yet... but call it girl's intuition. I smell insincerity.

bored outta ma mind

::sigh:: I work a lot. today is my one day off this week, and I have nothing fun to do. My boyfriend gets off work in about a half an hour, and hopefully we can go meet up with some friends or something. His friends that is, which are sort of my friends now, since i see them so often. My friends kind of suck. Not as people, but as friends. I can never make plans with them, cause either they're busy or they cancel. It makes me feel pretty shitty actually. but o well. I'm not writing for a pity party(especially not knowing the lack of people that read this. That's a pretty terrible party.) I'm writing cause I'm bored, and I don't wanna watch more tv on hulu cause I'll feel like a royal bum. I could go work out, but I'm very shy about it and i don't want my boyfriend's parents to think that I think that I'm fat or anything(though all 120 lbs of me does think I could use some muscle) ... o fuck it. it'll kill time. thanks for reading, no one.

bad days blown out of proportion is depression

Sometimes, other people's bad days make my good days bad days. And when sulk for caring about their bad days it makes their days worse days. So I try to keep positive, and pull them out of their bad days, but the only escape from a bad day is to believe it really isn't that bad... you got in a car accident... that's bad, but you weren't hurt, and you aren't gonna go broke. You lost at a video game... that's not even that bad... especially when you are playing someone who is at a whole other level than you are at that video game. That's like trying to fight a level 45 pokemon with a level 5... it won't end well for you, but at least you gained some experience. But it's nothing to frown over, just walk away and try again later.

poker night

Sometimes, it is terribly hard to know that my boyfriend has so many friends. He has people to hang out with every night. This would be great if I had any, I mean I have friends but I feel like I've built really lacking relationships with the people I was friends with in high school, because I see them and talk to them so infrequently. And, college friendships were a bit of a failure also, but that's a LONG story. I just feel really alone on poker night.

Israel

Today I went to Philadelphia's Israeli independence day celebration. Twas wonderful. I am a new fan of Rami Kleinstein, who gave a free concert. I talked to a wonderful, friendly girl who works for Hillel. I had a good day, but no falafel... which is a shame.

update

So my summer is one week into full swing, and I am exhausted and overworked. I find myself hoping for summer to go by quickly. I've worked all but three days since the monday after I got home, and I wish I just actually got to have a weekend for once. Not that my work is all that difficult, but I still find myself pooped at the end of the day. Hense, all I have to write about is being pooped. I hope for a good nap.

why am I the strong one?

depression is a bitch. The worst possible kind of bitch (besides borderline personality disorder of course.) with out the proper back story you are probably very confused as to what the hell I'm talking about. Frankly, more things in my life have been ruined by someone else's depression than anything else (except borderline personality disorder of course.) I wish for once the depression would realize that it is being ridiculous about all of this and let some things slide. Yes, your mother nags you-- she wouldn't be a proper Jewish mother if she didn't, but it doesn't mean that you breakdown because of it. The proper response would be to get a little annoyed at your mother, not take it out on the whole world, and especially not take it out on me. :\ I don't know what to do for you, I never do. I want to hug you, but I know you don't want to be touched-- so I just sit there and pretend watching you like this doesn't tear me up inside, because I know seeing me cry never makes things better for you.

alone :(

I hate it when you wake up at 5 AM to find your bed cold and empty... especially when there was someone there when you fell asleep. :\

how many licks...

I be's here, in at the VCC. It's a sunny 89 degrees today. I got new Rainbows, new shorts, new shirts. I'm awaiting a super summer. I start work tomorrow at a local pizza place. Life is good... unfortunately I have nothing to write about. I never did get around to trying out my horror movie study experiment... so like with tootsie pops... the world will never know.

Jason smells...

This weekend I spent 14 hours at work, about 6 hours studying and revising essays, and 24 hours sleeping, and 6 hours watching house... You should be able to tell which 30 hours are my favorite. My job gets more and more boring the more time I spend there. I work at a used textbook store, and as you can imagine, it gets very little business before finals-- as there are few people selling back textbooks. We just got a new shipment of bargain novels. I spent most of my day flipping through "Kitten wars" and "Kangodile" (though Kangodile was a winner... it's a picture book where you can connect the front end of an animal with the back end of another animal like the Plinoceros (rhinoceros + platypus) ) My other time was spent perfecting my Solitaire skills. The job wouldn't be SO bad if Jason, my co-worker, showered once and a while. It is a bad idea to sit downwind of him. Unfortunately, the fan faces the computer... It turns Solitaire into "avoid toxic waste poisoning" Solitaire... much more exciting.

happy birthday

It's my ex's birthday. Ok... to be fair, yesterday was his birthday... I just haven't slept yet. Anyhow, I decided to break up with him... as a friend. See this is hard to explain without a proper back story.. but to cut it short.. I am dating someone new.. and when I was dating my ex he would spend HOURS (9 at most) hanging out with his ex of three years (they went out for three years had been apart for a matter of months.) This was the ultimate cause of our breakup... not sooo much my jealousy but more because of his reactions. Frankly, I don't want to cause my current relationship to exhibit the same failures. So I've abandoned the friend attempt... because I'd rather be happy with the guy who really makes me happy than to pander to the friendship with a guy that broke my heart... just a little. ... I think that's fair enough.

study methods

I have a new theory for studying for finals. I took intro to psychology last semester, and there was this thing about how people remember information better when they experience an emotion with the intake of info.. I could be getting that entirely wrong I only got an 86 in the class :p However, my experiment for finals is this: I am going to watch scary movies, pause after the scariest parts and study... I'll let you know how effective this method is after my tests next week..

nothing to say...

So, despite my late caffeine-induced night I managed to wake up this morning in time for my Art History exam( which went alright.) Coffee always manages to screw with my judgment. I would not have watched multiple videos on how to sew zippers into garments or created a blog had I not been so wired. Now that I have a blog I'm trying to figure out why, and what the hell I'm going to write. And I plan to sew many zippers into many garments... as for the rest of my day... it looks like sunny skies, studying for finals and a long night at the Got Used Bookstore. If I come up with something to write on here I'll come back... till then I will leave you with a quote so that at least there is something entertaining on my blog : "whoever said nothing is impossible, never tried slamming a revolving door...."

almost one.

I don't drink coffee... but I drank coffee... and now i have a blog.